East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
