i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
