it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
