I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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