just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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