Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
