did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
