My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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