Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
