Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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