is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize