I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
