i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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