I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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