Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
