what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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