I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
