I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
