I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
