Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
