Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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