i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's just like the Real World with babies
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
