tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
