your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
