Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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