i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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