Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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