jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize