I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
