You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
