You just made me feel so damn special
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
