mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
