You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
