So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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