U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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