How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
