Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
