Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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