he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
