I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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