how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
