Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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