I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
