FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
