Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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