margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
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Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
