apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
