I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
