She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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