I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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