hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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