So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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