Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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