Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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