Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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