Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
