Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
