In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
