just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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