The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
