all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
