It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
