Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
